Thirty Days of Kink - I Want to Fight With All My Might, and Lose

by kiwinz on flickr

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?


This week I read this passage on Poppy and Devlin's blog, written by Alice.  The entire post was so very much about why I am drawn to kink, but this bit says it succinctly.


I want to push against a wall and find it immovable
I want to pound and find it solid
I want to know that I can’t win
I want to fight with all my might, and lose,
I want to kick and scream and stamp my foot
and find that it won’t work.

I want to know that I will not be pushed away,
will not be rejected, abandoned, screaming silently in the night.

but who will be the wall
who will stand firm
who will hold me til it’s over
and still be there?

I'm sure it's probably cheating to not write more.  Honestly, at this point I don't have other words to add.  I have written so much on this blog, and More Amour about why this journey and what drives me.  I'm sure I will write more.  

For tonight, I'm going to keep thinking about Alice's words, and let them sink into my heart where they belong, because for me, kink isn't just about getting off... it's about passion, about discovering the girl, the woman, the real me, in me.

Thanks, Alice and Poppy.

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