Thirty Days of Kink - Sluttiness, the Right Way

by jvc on flickr

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

I have a pretty direct and simple take on the ethics of kink. I believe that being ethical means a Top assumes or takes no power/submission/control that is not negotiated or offered by choice. I believe being ethical means a Top only negotiates and assumes power that he or she is capable of handling safely and fairly. I believe it is unethical for a Top or a bottom to lie -- about relationships, about negotiated activities, about intentions, skills, or anything else that would be a breach of the power exchange contract... however formal or informal it may be. I believe an ethical Top, or bottom does no harm -- which should not be confused with the practice of causing pain.

Many of my ethical standards regarding kink are based in my values regarding relationships. A good start for me is the book The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. I recommend it for anyone who is interested in the dynamics of relationships, especially non-traditional ones.

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