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DAY ONE - Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us. I'd like to begin by saying that for me, definitions are a starting place, not an ending one. They are the way I BEGIN a conversation about kink, the way I negotiate a scene or a relationship. They are variable, and subject to experience, opinion and interpretation. I'd also like to say that I tend to complicate definitions. I suppose I should begin with the simple stuff. I am submissive, by choice, not by nature. Though that's not entirely true, it's the closest I can come to the truth with the vocabulary I've been afforded in this lifestyle. I am strong-willed, intelligent, influential, opinionated, communicative, and confident. I have no desire to dominate another where kink is concerned; nor do I have any need to wash your dishes or fold your laundry. Hell, I rarely do my own. I do however, need to surrender control. That's the gist of it, pure and simple. I need to be dominated by a man of strength who compels my strength. If you've read my blogs at all, you've surely seen the following quote, because it is an incredibly accurate description of how I feel about my lifestyle: “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” -Anais Nin 1930-1977 Additionally, this quote also by Anais Nin gives insight into my thinking, and my choices regarding my submission: “I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.” -Anais Nin 1903-1977 I crave the strength of a man who cares enough to keep me in line, who is intelligent enough and consistent enough to command my respect, and my obedience, and get it without question, who acknowledges and celebrates that my submission is a gift, given by choice. I need to let go of my end of the rope, and know he will pull it taut, and let me dance along the edge, ensuring that I don't fall over that line into bliss until he is ready. I need to please him, to be used by him, and to know that he cherishes me... and will not let me push my boundaries too far, before he puts me in check, or sorts me out as Poppy would say. In addition to being submissive by choice, I am a masochist, and a pain-bottom. I crave the sensation, the adrenaline rush, the endorphin overload that the right sort of pain provides. I love pushing my pain threshold, feeding off of the energy, and seeing my Top feed off of it as well. If you've read much of me, you know I'm new, learning, exploring, and a voyeur, a watcher, and that I chase the darkness that lives in me. In that pursuit, I am recently expanding into new territory. I have submitted to a Sir, in some limited, very specific ways. Our relationship is long-distance, and constrained to internet and smartphone contact. But it meets my needs in an acceptable and pleasing way, for where I am now in my relationships. I'll be posting more about him in the future. And I suppose I'll end with an afterthought. I'm polyamorous. That's me, or at least a starting point for getting to know me. Want more, just ask. Day One down, and only an hour sixteen past the deadline. Wish me luck for Day Two.  |
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The way you describe your Dominant man, what you need from him... it's like you're reading from a script in my mind. Amazing.
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