Thirty Days of Kink - What's Your Name, Little Girl?

by Robert S. Donovan on flickr

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?


I do, though the titles I have are adapted, to suit my life, my relationships.


I am Shepherd's girl.


Shepherd is Wolf. He's my protector and my predator. Shepherd does not hold my collar, because our lives do not allow us that arrangement. But there is a definite D/s dynamic in our relationship. So, when it came time to decide what he would call me, how he would introduce me to others, "girl" fit. It suits me, and it suits him.


In addition, Shepherd has been known to introduce me as his Poet. I'm perfectly happy with that, as well, because above all else, this is who I am -- a poet with ink-blood in my veins. Shepherd recognizes that, and honors me with this loving sobriquet.


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There is one other who has the right to give me a title at this point in my life. (other than "wife", of course. The honor of giving me this title belongs to Husband.) But husband does not share my love of BDSM, and so, in regards to this post, and answering this question, the one other is a young man whom I've known for a little over a year.


Poet and I met as part of a writing community, and his use of language pushes me, inspires me, and moves me. A year ago, when a budding relationship with a man who had just collared me ended abruptly, he was there being supportive, speaking honestly to me, being vulnerable. He offered me what I'll call a "long distance collar" then, but I needed space, time, and room to explore.


Since then, I've learned that where I am in my relationships with Husband and Shepherd leaves some gaps. I need structure, assignments, protocols, and mental / emotional dominance. I need to be owned, at least in part, by someone who will call my bluff, enforce consequences, and push my boundaries. Poet and I are negotiating the fine details of our agreement, but at this point, we know that I wear his collar. It fits the way I do polyamorous kink, and it fills the gaps I felt before. I'm not Poet's slave, not fully his submissive, because the limits to our relationship are in some ways severe. But he cherishes me, and owns me, and Sir Poet calls me his "little pet".


It suits me just fine.


For me, titles are important for my mental and emotional health. They communicate respect, affection, value, boundaries and place. The titles I wear may not carry the same meaning as they do with others, but I'm good with that.

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